Rules on the TARDIS
by rusty o'neill
Summary: Rose starts a list of rules to deal with things she finds problematic while living in the TARDIS.
1. Chapter 1

I really enjoyed albert12's Things not to do on the TARDIS, but wished they'd continued into the new show. So I decided that rather than hope someone else would come up with this, I'd try writing it myself. First fic, so we'll see how it goes. This covers anywhere in the new series from season 1 to 4. More may be added for later seasons. And I made up some of the alien species encountered, so don't worry if one turns up that you think you've somehow missed hearing about.

**Disclaimers**: I do not own Dr. Who. Apparently this is required to put in. But seriously, who would think that any of us owned these since we're writing fanfics? I am also not trying to steal albert12's rule ideas and style. I just thought they were great and knew he wouldn't be writing any connected to the new seasons. If you see this and think I'm plagiarizing, PM me, please. I really don't want to offend anyone.

**A/N**: Rule #20 is inspired by my roommate. She had asked, "If the Doctor wants to be ginger, why wouldn't he just dye his hair?" I had to come up with an explanation.

I do take suggestions; PM me if there's something you want to see in here because I plan on continuing to add to this one. I reserve the right to decide if I want to use the prompt, but I'll probably put it in if it's just good clean humor. Just don't use ideas from season 5 or further. I have not watched those yet and so any rules from them would be (as River Song would say) Spoilers! When you start seeing rules from those seasons show up here, then it's safe to send them. The different font styles are for different characters' handwriting- Rose's rules are underlined, the Ninth Doctor's are bold, and the Tenth Doctor's are italic.

1 Do not leave bananas lying about just anywhere in the TARDIS. Rose was the one who started the rule list, mainly because she had just ruined a _third_ pair of jeans when she sat down on a half-eaten banana. She had no idea what she was starting.

**2 Jackie Tyler is not allowed anywhere near the Doctor. Especially if she looks angry**. Rose had to laugh when she saw that one. Apparently the Doctor had had enough of Jackie's overprotective ways. The problem was, the rule didn't do a lot of good in its position _inside_ the TARDIS. It would be better put up in the Tylers' flat.

3 Making eerie noises in the middle of the night is not funny. Rose still couldn't quite forget the "ghosts' she'd seen at Christmas.

**4 No trying to claim that you inspired a writer's main character**. Rose still might have managed to convince her mother that she really was the inspiration for Elizabeth Bennett, if the Doctor hadn't pointed out that they had never met Jane Austen, only Charles Dickens.

**5 No matter how cute the alien is, Rose, you may not bring it onto the TARDIS**. She had somehow managed to smuggle in a puff-tailed Mantagorian rat. Cute, yes, but extremely destructive to any and all forms of wiring. And they hadn't caught it yet.

**6 Not every fat person is a Slitheen in disguise**. A portly gentleman had been quite disturbed by Rose's close examination of his forehead.

7 Daleks are not trash cans. Rose had inadvertently attempted to throw away a gum wrapper in one before she realized what it was.

8 Poking people with pins is not an acceptable way to find out if they're real. An advanced alien culture on one of the planets they visited had created dozens of robots that were exact duplicates of Rose. The doctor had had the brilliant theory that only the real Rose would bleed.

9 Please do not call the cockroach exterminator a Dalek. Jackie was very upset; she was sure that the man thought her flat was full of crazy people and would never come back. If that happened, she had threatened, the Doctor was responsible for getting rid of the cockroaches under the kitchen sink, since he'd scared the poor fellow off.

**10 Never, ever again try to prank Rose**. The Doctor had thought it would be funny to jump out from behind a corner wearing a gas mask. Rose had been carrying a rather heavy anthology of Berekian poetry. The Doctor still had a headache.

**11 Jack Harkness is no longer allowed in this TARDIS**. The Doctor had caught him trying to steal a kiss from Rose. Jack now wished he'd been left on the exploding Chula warship.

**12 The Sonic Screwdriver is not for chasing bats**! Rose had woken up in the middle of the night one time when she was home at the Powell Estate to see a bat swooping around her room. She had run down to the TARDIS in a panic and asked the Doctor if she could borrow the screwdriver to chase out the bat. He refused.

13 Rose needs to be taught to operate the TARDIS. This was added after an extremely harrowing adventure in which the TARDIS had ended up tumbling randomly through the vortex while the Doctor was attempting to fix a broken part. Rose had been able to do nothing but hang on for dear life until they landed in Italy in the fifteenth century.

**14 I don't care what those Kennocks told you, slapping people in the face is **_**never**_** an acceptable form of greeting**! The Doctor just hoped Rose wouldn't tell her mother about that particular alien custom.

_15 There will be NO MORE comment on the fact that I am still not ginger_. New Doctor, new handwriting, Rose thought when she saw the latest addition to the list. She fully intended to ignore the actual rule.

_16 "Hand" jokes are no longer funny_. They were up until about the fifth one, but enough was enough.

17 No Christmas trees. That rule was fairly self-explanatory.

18 Do not catch snowflakes on your tongue unless you are 100% sure it is really snow. This was Rose's note to self; she had been so delighted with a Christmas snow that she'd been acting like a little girl. She'd had to rinse her mouth out three times to get rid of the taste of alien ash.

_19 Never ever play a trick on Rose_. Apparently the Tenth Doctor had forgotten his previous regeneration's mistake, or had thought he was smart enough to get away with it. He had statically charged Rose's hat so her hair stood on end after she wore it because she had made a comment about his new regeneration's hair looking like a "porcupine". It wasn't until the next day that he found out she'd put honey in his coat pockets.

_20 Dyeing the Doctor's hair is not a good idea_. Rose had managed to convince the Doctor that if he wanted to be a ginger so badly, he should just dye his hair. They didn't realize that the physiological differences between Gallifreyans and humans were quite so distinct. They extended to the fact that some chemical in the dye had given the Doctor a very irritating rash.

**A/N Reviews are appreciated!** Let me know how I'm doing with this. Apparently according to some other writers suggestions for stories are not to be given in reviews so if you have a good idea, please PM me.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Dr. Who.

Thanks to the people who have sent in reviews, it made my day. Big shoutout to crystaldragon275 and The Hearts of the Tardis. You guys were so encouraging! So I hurried up and got the next chapter done for you! Hope you enjoy it as much as the last one!

21 No more comments like, "What's the worst that could happen?" Rose was sure those were jinxes. A slight flurry had turned into a full-on blizzard just after the Doctor had said "A little snow never hurt anyone."

22 _Do not use the last tea bag without buying more as soon as possible. _ The Doctor's headache only got worse when he discovered that Rose had used up the last of the tea in the cupboard. Rose had a headache when the Doctor was finished shouting at her.

23 _No ice skating. _ Rose had managed to convince the Doctor to go skating with her on an ice planet. He was surprisingly clumsy. At least there was plenty of snow to put on a black eye.

24 Do NOT open the TARDIS unless you are sure of what is outside. The scanners had been malfunctioning, but the Doctor had decided it was safe to open the door anyway on an unknown planet. The TARDIS was immediately filled with a swarm of flies with very painful bites.

25 _I don't care how good your excuse is, no flying the TARDIS without permission!_ On a potentially dangerous planet, the Doctor had told Rose to stay put in the TARDIS while he made sure things were safe. For once, she actually listened, but when something outside began attacking the TARDIS she didn't really think about what she was doing. The Doctor had to explain to her over the phone how to fly it back from Mars in 34556. Needless to say, he was less than pleased.

26 _The sentiment was nice, but check your pockets before you give away your coat_. In 1880s London, Rose had given her coat to a young street orphan. That would have been fine, if she hadn't had the TARDIS key in her pocket. Tracking down one child in the London streets was surprisingly difficult.

27 _Stop howling like a wolf whenever the Royal Family is mentioned._ Jackie didn't understand the joke at all.

28 Replacing the sugar with salt is not funny. Rose's whole morning had been ruined when she took her first sip of some very salty tea.

29 _Please return my sonic screwdriver._ Rose was getting revenge for the tea incident.

30 Okay, I'm sorry. Can the prank war be over now? Rose had discovered that Gallifreyans' above-human intelligence extended to devising some very creative and annoying pranks. Her hair was still a rather startling shade of teal, and dye remover was not helping at all.

31 _It was the Krillitane oil, not the chips, that was making you smarter_. After her experience at the school, Rose had apparently decided to eat as many chips as she could. The Doctor was finally getting tired of them.

32 Don't yell at me in Gallifreyan when you're upset. Rose at least wanted to know if he was calling her a bad name. Gallifreyan was the one language the TARDIS didn't translate.

33 _Poking sleeping things with a stick is generally unwise_. Rose had nearly been bitten by a very disgruntled alien that looked like a large dust bunny. A dust bunny with four-inch fangs.

34 No, we cannot get another horse and keep it in the TARDIS. The Doctor had argued that Arthur had been the only way he was able to save Reinette. Rose finally got him to stop insisting by telling him he could only have the horse if he was the one who took care of it.

35 My mother was not better as a Cyberman. After getting slapped by Jackie _again_, the Doctor made the mistake of saying that he had actually liked the Cyberman version of her better. Rose slapped him even harder.

36 The TARDIS console is not a footrest. They had ended up on a very dangerous jungle planet when the wrong lever got pushed. But the Doctor continued to ignore the rule.

37 _No more tree climbing_. Rose had found an extremely large and twisted tree that she couldn't resist scrambling up into. Unfortunately, she got so high up that she was afraid to come back down, and the Doctor had to go up after her.

38 _Not every T.V. is going to try to eat your face._ Rose had gotten very upset when Jackie turned on the news broadcast. So upset that she threw her bowl of cereal at the television and ran from the room screaming.

39 Jokes about "losing face" are just mean. Yes, it was a clever play on words, but Rose was not amused. She also resented what the Doctor had said about it at least saving money on makeup.

40 If everyone else is running from the giant cat, don't try to pet it! Rose was sure that the Doctor's fascination with aliens went a little too far some days. He was just too trusting.

A/N: I know I'm going to sound like a broken record, but I love reviews so feel free to get in touch. I try to PM anyone who reviews me to thank them. Feel free to critique if I mess something up; I am not totally familiar with the show so I might make some mistakes. I will make corrections if I am told what's wrong. And also, PM me if you've got rule suggestions. I would love to put up some other people's ideas for good funny rules.


	3. Chapter 3

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, it made my day. I'm so glad people like this and want to see more! After the rule about ghosts, the underlined rules are from Donna, and then Martha. In short, anything underlined is written by a companion, the site doesn't offer a wide range of fonts or I would give each companion their own handwriting.

41- _Just because things the Isolus draws come to life does not mean you can ask it to draw you anything you want. _The Doctor had managed to catch Rose before anything really came of it, but he had to wonder why she appeared to be wearing a wedding dress in the half-finished picture.

42- Not every picture is going to eat you. Apparently, the Doctor was still a bit upset about being pulled into the Isolus's drawing. He took away Rose's sketchbook when he caught her trying to draw a picture of him.

43- Stop licking things! Rose was getting tired of that. The last straw was when he picked up a small statue from a street vendor in a strange planet's marketplace and licked it. The merchant had chased them away with a very large stick.

44- _No alien pets_! Rose had, over the course of their travels, smuggled several animals into the TARDIS. Apparently she had learned nothing from the incident with the Mantagorian rat. Several of these new pets turned out to be quite dangerous. The last acquisition, which resembled a purple fox, had left Rose with some very nasty bites.

45- _That means fish too._ Rose had argued that fish lived in a bowl and therefore couldn't be too dangerous. She was partly right. Until the TARDIS hit some turbulence in the vortex and the bowl spilled into the console, short-circuiting half the equipment.

46- _For the thousandth time, it is never really ghosts!_ Rose was beginning to believe Jackie.

47- Get me OUT OF THIS PLACE! Donna was going to kill someone if she was late for her wedding.

48- _Slapping me will not help me figure out how to get you home or what happened._ The Doctor was very sorry that Donna had gotten dragged into the TARDIS, but he did not appreciate the slapping. He was beginning to think that he wanted to get her home as much or more than she wanted to go!

49- _Stop calling me a Martian!_ Donna was understandably upset, but that was no excuse for using the wrong terminology.

50- I need pockets! Donna was never, ever, EVER going to wear a dress without pockets again.

51- _Humming "The Itsy Bitsy Spider" in front of Donna is not a good idea_. She was still very upset over how callously the Doctor had acted when he drowned the Racnoss. The song pushed her over the edge, and the Doctor got slapped again.

52- Next time, tell me exactly what you're doing _before_ you kiss me! Martha was still very shaken up over her near miss with the Judoon. She insisted that the Doctor should have told her more than "This doesn't mean anything." It would have been just as easy, she told him later, to explain that he was "transferring genetic material' and that she was going to nearly be arrested.

53- _Studying to be a medical doctor does not qualify you to go around using my name_! Martha and the Doctor had gotten separated, and when she was captured by a rather hostile alien tribe, she tried to bluff her way out by claiming she was the Doctor. Fortunately the real Doctor showed up before Martha became the Trakeens' festival dinner.

54- _Stop quoting things Shakespeare hasn't written yet!_ The Doctor was afraid that Martha would inadvertently cause a catastrophe in the future by making Shakespeare think that his famous works had already been written by someone else.

55- _Stop cackling like a witch whenever someone mentions Shakespeare_. Martha's reaction to mentions of the Bard was becoming very exasperating. And painfully shrill.

56- No more visits to New New York. The Doctor kept insisting that Martha had only seen the worst side of the city, but she continued to protest that being kidnapped once was more than enough.

57- _Martha, stop taking my stethoscope_. That was the problem with having a doctor-in-training on the TARDIS.

58- I will never eat pork again. Ever. Martha hadn't gotten over the Daleks' genetic experiments on humans.

59- _Stop calling me King Kong!_ Martha hadn't been able to pass up the joke, since the Doctor had been on the very top of the Empire State Building. Unfortunately, he didn't find it amusing at all.

60- Never, ever again do we travel to the American Civil War era! Martha nearly ended up as a plantation cook, and the Doctor was mistaken for a Union colonel.

Feel free to review or to PM me with rule suggestions!


	4. Chapter 4

Rules Chapter 4

I'm sorry, I am so sorry! I know this chapter is really late, I had a twelve page research paper due before my college had Thanksgiving break and I've been obsessing over it because it's half the grade for the course! All the reviews I've gotten sure help brighten things up. Thanks to everybody who's reviewed and hope you all enjoy this! Rule 73 comes from **Wernher von Braun, **and 78 is an adaptation of a review by** artsoccer**. Thanks, guys!

61- _No more black tie events_. Something always seemed to go wrong when the Doctor attended one. And he had never really been able to get the idea of how to talk to people at these kind of things. He usually ended up feeling totally out of place until something threatened the existence of the universe.

62- I realize it was necessary at the time, but don't ever play an organ that loudly again! Martha's ears were still ringing.

63- Stop hitting the TARDIS with a hammer! Martha was rather horrified that the Doctor would treat the TARDIS that way, although she had to admit that smacking the console repeatedly had eventually worked.

64- _No slapping __**me**__ repeatedly "just to see if you would like someone to do that to you"!_ Martha had been just upset enough at the Doctor to see if he would like to find the shoe on the other foot. Since the TARDIS couldn't get revenge, she took matters into her own hands, quite literally. The Doctor was beginning to think that Jackie Tyler had actually been less violent than his new companion.

65- _Stop singing, "You are my Sunshine."_ The Doctor didn't find that funny at all. After being possessed by a living sun, he was in no mood to be reminded of it.

66- Don't look at the sun. Martha couldn't resist this one, her parents had told her that when she was three. Really, the Doctor should have known better.

67- Do not eat an entire jar of jam in one sitting! The Doctor was hyper enough without adding sugar. And that was the reason the TARDIS ended up crash-landed in a swamp.

68- If we ever have to hide again, have me pose as something other than a servant! Almost anything would have been better, Martha thought. Although it really could have been worse. They could have gone back to the American Civil War era again.

69- _You were supposed to keep me from eating any pears! _Apparently the human John Smith liked them quite a bit. The Doctor did not. He was quite disgusted to find one in his coat pocket after becoming a Time Lord again.

70- Watch out for stairs. Martha couldn't resist a small joke at the Doctor's expense. For the next two weeks, whenever they approached a flight of stairs, she would say, "Don't turn your back on them, they have a way of sneaking up behind you."

71- Stop scaring me by pretending a scarecrow is alive. The Doctor had thought it would be fun to give Martha a bit of a fright. He was still laughing at the way she'd screamed like a little girl and went running back to the TARDIS as fast as she could, although he was afraid he'd pay for it later.

72- _No more pets in the TARDIS, period_! Apparently Martha had decide the no alien pets rule only applied to Rose. They had visited a planet where there were dozens of beautiful moths. Martha had taken back a cocoon that she thought would hatch into a moth. It turned out to have hundreds of small grasshopper-like creatures inside. The Doctor was still finding them in odd places all over the TARDIS.

73- Never use the timey-wimey detector in an airport. The doctor had been arrested when the police thought he was trying to smuggle a bomb in. Martha was still fuming about having to explain. And then for having to bail him out of jail for resisting arrest.

74- _Not every statue is a weeping angel_. Martha was now avoiding sculptures of any sort that appeared even vaguely human.

75- Licking everything you see is just asking for trouble. On a frozen planet, the Doctor had decided to test the chemical composition of the ice with his tongue. Martha had to unstick him from a very large icicle.

76- _If it seems too good to be true, it usually is._ Martha and the Doctor discovered that the reason a very lovely jungle planet was uninhabited were the extremely active volcanoes all across its surface. They were almost cut off from the TARDIS by a fast-moving flow of lava.

77- _No hitchhiking on the TARDIS!_ The Doctor was very upset when he found out what Jack had done. The TARDIS hadn't been too fond of the whole thing either.

78- _Jack, I mean it this time. Stop flirting with the companions_! Jack was just being Jack.

79- I never want to hear drums again. Martha didn't think she'd ever be able to forget that four-beat rhythm the Master had used.

80- _No, my nickname is not Yoda, even if I am over 900 years old_. After the Year That Never Happened, Martha couldn't help teasing the Doctor a little bit about when the Master had aged him.

Please review, I love to know if I'm doing a good job or not. And as you can see, I do use suggestions, so feel free to PM me!


	5. Chapter 5

Once again, I'm so late getting this posted! I was home for Thanksgiving and our internet was out! And with Finals week approaching way too fast, I have a lot of studying to do. My updating may be sporadic until January because I'll be on Christmas break with iffy home internet.

Rule #90 was suggested by **Eagle Hawke**, and #87 came from watching the movie _Decoy Bride_ with a friend.

81-_Never, ever ever name a ship the Titanic_. Bad things are bound to happen.

82-_I can't help it that Christmas seems to turn dangerous whenever I'm around_. The Doctor was tired of having people blame him for the nearly-annual almost disasters.

83-_No more conversations through windows_. That had resulted in both the Doctor and Donna getting into serious trouble.

84-Don't leave me hanging! Donna didn't appreciate dangling from a lift several stories above the ground, and then having the Doctor apparently run off on her.

85-_Stop referring to the Adipose as "baby fat"._ The Doctor was afraid that if they ever visited the Adiposian homeworld, Donna would gravely insult them.

86-When you say "mate", clarify what you mean! Donna and the Doctor had had very different ideas of the meaning of that particular word.

87-Never again attempt to play the bagpipes. Donna had spent a very anxious half-hour convinced she'd gone permanently deaf.

88-Stop reminding me "When in Rome…" if we are not actually in Rome anyways! It was Pompeii, Donna kept reminding the Doctor. As if one could get the two cities confused.

89-_Just because I did it once does not mean we can go around saving people from things that are really supposed to kill them._ The Doctor was afraid Donna would make it a regular habit and they would end up tearing apart time and reality.

90-I don't care if it looks beautiful, never get us so close to a black hole again! The Doctor had been so fascinated by the swirls of light being sucked into the collapsing star that he had failed to notice the TARDIS was drifting closer and closer.

91-_Before you start beating up an alien for kissing you, ask me if it's a greeting custom_! Donna had inadvertently strained relationships with the Feldorians by slapping their ambassador.

92- _The Ood are not any relation to squid_. Donna had asked the Doctor the same question several times.

93-_No, I do not care if they are cute and you do feel sorry for them, we are not taking an Ood on the TARDIS!_ The Doctor had managed to get Donna to give up when he explained to her that the Ood were happier on their own planet.

94-Be more careful where you park the TARDIS. The Doctor had assumed that he'd left it in a perfectly safe place. He and Donna returned an hour later to discover that the "hill" where they had parked had in reality been the moss-covered back of an extremely large tortoise. Fortunately it was just as slow-moving as Earth tortoises.

95-_We are never going back to Dareen again_. The people of that planet had never seen anyone with red hair before, and they proceeded to assume that Donna was an incarnation of their sun deity. She would have been upset if it hadn't meant that she got to order the Doctor around for once. The Dareenians would not allow him to disobey their sun goddess.

96-_The Sontarans are really not baked potatoes_. Donna could not remember their real name so she had settled for that.

97- Stop acting like me going home for a visit is the end of the world. The Doctor had completely misunderstood.

98-No, the fact that I was home did not cause the Sontarans to attempt to take over the world with Atmos. The Doctor had pointed out the previous rule and reminded Donna that the world as they knew it nearly _had_ ended.

99-Unless you know exactly what effect an alien fruit has on humans, don't let me eat it! A certain variety of peach-like fruit had no effect on Gallifreyans. For a human, it was similar to nitrous oxide. Donna was most upset because she couldn't properly express her anger when she was laughing almost too hard to breathe.

100-_Please stop taking pity on every sad thing we meet_. Donna had attempted to soothe an orphaned litter of some sort of blue, hairless foxlike animal. All eight of them had followed her around for the rest of the day and then nearly managed to sneak into the TARDIS.

Reviews are great, and so are suggestions. Just a note, I have now seen the fifth through seventh seasons of Doctor Who so there can be suggestions that deal with the Eleventh Doctor and his companions now. Thanks to all my readers and reviewers and I apologize once again for leaving you waiting so long. Exams are looming, need I say more? Hopefully I will be able to post another chapter before the holidays, but we'll see. If not, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you all!


	6. Chapter 6

I was hoping to be able to post one more chapter before Christmas, and so I was glad that the internet and my glitchy computer cooperated! Rule 101 is from **artsoccer**, and thanks to everyone who has sent me ideas! I will be getting to more of them soon, when I start working on rules for the eleventh Doctor.

101- Jenny is real. Donna didn't like the fact that the Doctor kept referring to Jenny as an anomaly. Neither did Jenny.

102- Don't call the Hath fish_._ Donna had made the mistake of calling a Hath a "Martian fish" in front of Martha. Martha knew them a lot better than Donna did, and since a Hath had saved her life, she didn't appreciate even an unintentional insult to them.

103- _Don't complain about the running; sometimes it's the only thing keeping us from being killed._ The Doctor had overheard Donna's conversation with Jenny about the amount of running that being a companion involved.

104-Stop asking the TARDIS to move the rooms without warning. Donna had had a bit of a falling-out with the Doctor, and he'd gotten back at her by having the TARDIS shuffle all of the rooms. Donna was lost for two days.

105- Oi! I didn't mean move the rooms back again! Donna had just gotten used to the new arrangement. Now she was lost again.

106- _I'm sorry about the room trick; please stop hiding the tea._ Donna was finally getting her revenge.

107- Do not ever again let the Doctor drink coffee! Donna hadn't realized what that much caffeine could do to an already extremely energetic Timelord. She was going to return the tea as fast as possible-when she remembered where she'd hidden it.

108-I am no good at Charades, so never again try to make me guess what you need! Donna had gotten very frustrated at the Doctor's attempts to make her figure out what he needed to reverse the cyanide poisoning.

109-_I really didn't mean that I should kiss you more often_! While they'd been too busy at the time to have a proper discussion about that incident, Donna had brought up the matter later. She'd told him that if that ever happened again, the only "shock" he was going to get would be a slap.

110- Stop humming "The Flight of the Bumblebee" around me. Donna was still traumatized by her encounter with the giant wasp. She promptly pointed him back to Rule # 51 and asked him how he'd managed to learn nothing since then.

111-_Don't throw things_. On a snow planet, Donna had accidentally woken up a three-headed yeti with a poorly placed snowball. She wasn't sure if that was what had prompted the rule or if it was the fact that the snowball had really been meant for the Doctor.

112-Watch where we're going! When escaping the yeti, Donna and the Doctor had failed to watch the ground. And that was how they ended up stranded on a chunk of ice the size of the TARDIS door, in the middle of a lake.

113-_Even if you are mad, stamping your foot while floating on an iceberg is not_ _wise_. Donna wasn't arguing that rule; floating on the lake was not fun, but it certainly beat falling in. She wasn't sure she'd ever feel warm again. It was not fair, she insisted, that Gallifreyans were more resistant to cold temperatures than humans.

114-_The Sonic Screwdriver is not for putting up cabinets_. On one of Donna's visits home, she'd tried to get the Doctor to help Wilf put up some new cupboards in the kitchen.

115-No more visits to libraries! Donna had thought a library was a perfectly safe place to go. She did not like being trapped in a computer and having her face stuck on a greeter.

116-**No reading my diary! Spoilers!** River Song didn't believe that the Doctor had just dropped it and was picking it up to give it back.

117-_I know you're still scared of the Vashta Nerada, but look where you're walking_! Donna had walked straight into a pillar because she was nervously glancing at her shadow to make sure it hadn't doubled.

118-Baby animals generally have a mother nearby. The Doctor had been having fun with the baby anteaters-until their mother arrived. Alien anteaters turned out to have three-foot long tongues that were just as good for tangling up supposed enemies as licking up ants.

119-Saying "What could possibly go wrong?" before starting off on a trip is a very bad idea. Donna felt like saying "I told you so," when she found out what had happened on Midnight.

120-_Stop repeating everything I say, it is not funny._ Donna insisted that it was just revenge for the times he'd been insensitive when she was traumatized. She finally stopped when she saw just how upset the Doctor really was about losing his voice.

Thanks for all the reviews I've gotten. I love them! Have a very Merry Christmas and watch out for Sycorax, or flying fish in fog, or the Titanic, or giant spiders, or…well, you get the idea.


	7. Chapter 7

Sorry it has taken me so long to post an update! I've been collaborating with my roommate on a Harry Potter fanfiction so that is taking up most of my writing time, and I'm also busy with classes. But I wanted to get another chapter posted for all the readers who've been reviewing and telling me they're enjoying it. This was a tough chapter to write, since I wanted to include the later single episodes but there isn't really a companion to make up any rules. So I just used rules from the other characters, giving their names after the rule so it's obvious who wrote what. Same goes for the rules where there is more than one companion in the TARDIS.

121- _No wandering off on strange planets_. Donna wasn't going to argue with that rule. Getting dumped into an alternative reality with a giant beetle on her back had made her more than willing to stay close to the Doctor.

122- Don't trust fortunetellers. Donna wished she'd listened to her mother's advice when she was younger.

123- Taking me to a planet where women are not allowed to speak is not fair. Donna had very nearly been arrested for violating the acceptable codes of conduct.

124- _You don't have to make up for it by talking nonstop for a week!_ For Donna at least, revenge was sweet.

125- Never take me to the Shadow Proclamation again. Donna didn't like being left alone with a bunch of strange aliens.

126- I know you were glad to see me, but you still need to watch out for Daleks!-Rose. Rose had worked for years to find a way to travel through parallel universes and find her Doctor. She was very upset that he'd nearly gotten killed before they had a chance to even really meet.

127-One of you was bad enough; how am I supposed to put up with two?-Donna. Donna was still a little shocked by what had happened to the Doctor's hand.

128-_I could say the same thing about you._ The new Doctor had quite a bit of Donna's personality.

129- _Oi! Saying "Talk to the Hand" is not funny, Earth-girl!_ The metacrisis Doctor did not appreciate Donna's sense of humor.

131- _Jack, how many times do I have to tell you to stop fliting with everyone?_ Jack never listened anyway.

132-_No more companions._ The Doctor had seen bad things happen to too many.

133- Stop telling me my screwdriver isn't sonic-Jackson Lake.

134- _London at Christmas is dangerous._ Somehow, the Doctor always seemed to end up in the middle of a disaster, whether he wanted to or not.

133-_When will I learn to stop licking things?_ That sand had not been pleasant at all.

134-I don't appreciate you wrecking something I worked so hard to steal-Christina.

135-_Never again try to change a fixed point in time._ The Doctor knew it was a bad idea to begin with.

136-_Never marry on short notice again. _The doctor was sure marrying Queen Elizabeth was one of his biggest mistakes.

137- _It is impossible to make an Ood laugh_. Not even locking the TARDIS like a car will work.

138-_No More Rescues!_ The Doctor was pretty sure that the Vinvocci's attempt to save him and Wilf really was the worst rescue ever.

139-_Wilf, you really need to stop getting locked in dangerous places._ As if him being trapped in the Atmos car hadn't been bad enough.

140-**Don't fly the TARDIS into space when you're about to regenerate. It tends to crash**. "Geronimo!"

Goodbye Ten, I'm going to miss you. But I think that I'll have way too much fun making up rules for Eleven! He seems to get himself into trouble a lot. I can just imagine Amy writing down pages of things he shouldn't be allowed to do. And vice versa.


End file.
